So, the Hillary campaign's bringing out the big gun now. And, man, what a big gun he is. Bill Clinton rocks. Compared to the quagmire of knee-jerk, crony-friendly jingoistic ineptitude that the current administration represents, Bill is the emperor of reason. We may very well look back at his administration as America's last golden hour.
But I refuse to let Dubya's Cheney's massive failings and my sheer lack of understanding of the half of the electorate who returned him to office bring me down. Like the 349 other folks who had an audience with Bill last night, I'm still pumped. There was a blackout on the Westside. Nothing but candlelight and cool night air in the backyard where we were standing. Bill was up on the steps, vaguely lit by an emergency light. And he was mesmerizing. He talked about why he would vote for Hillary, even if he wasn't married to her. He told stories that left us misty-eyed. He answered questions. A few nuggets:
About Iran: "Well, they're talking to us. And you know why? Because Iraq is a state that was manufactured after the fall of the Ottoman Empire in World War I. And if we just pull out, there will be more than a million dead and more than 7 million refugees who will head for northwest Iran and destabilize the country."
About immigration: "I hope some of these Republicans live another 30 years, when we're expected to add 2 billion people to the population, mostly in countries that can't support them. They'll be longing for the year 2007, when immigration issues looked simple."
About terrorism: " I dealt with Bin Laden; these guys are smart, they look for cracks in our defenses and they never do the same thing twice. It wouldn't be too hard to send some people to Mexico, have them learn to speak Spanish, and have them head across the border acting like they're looking for work. But how are you going to deport 12 million people? Wouldn't you be better off giving them a path to citizenship, and then keep an eye on the 100,000 or so who don't sign up? Find out what they're up to? Instead of having to deal with the entire 12 million? Part of our foreign policy involves treating people with respect. That's just as important as having a strong military."
About the military: "They're now training naval reservists as infantry. One guy I talked to in San Diego said 'We call it the "Narmy" now.' The White House cook, whom Hillary and I talked into retiring from the Navy, joining the reserves, and coming to New York with us to run our house, he's just been shipped off for his second tour doing special ops in Iraq. A navy cook. If we had a national security crisis, we couldn't handle it. We're out of army. We have no more Marines. Our military has been decimated."
On what he would do for Hillary: "I'll do whatever she wants me to. I think that, once you've been President, you're obliged to help the current President any way you can. I've done that for the current President, even though I disagree with him on almost every issue. I think that morally you're obligated. I think I could help Hillary the best on the international front by helping repair relationships, and by helping explain some of the domestic programs she'd like to implement."
There's more, believe me. He clearly explained healthcare issues, economic issues, and foreign policy issues. He answered every question asked, came back to them even when he discoursed on a another topic, and worked the crowd like a magician.
He signed an autograph for my daughter, and told me that she shares a name with his mother. (My daughter had a hard time prying the piece of paper from my sweaty, happy hands, BTW.)
Okay, Hill, I'm in. I know I'm suffering from a little rockstar-itis, but you've forged a durable, rich relationship with this guy. The fact that you can stand up to, and even shine, in this light, says volumes. And, unlike the current President, you probably know what the Ottoman Empire was.
Here's the story that made us misty-eyed: "I was playing golf one day, and a caddy stopped me before I left the first hole. He said 'Wait a minute, I may never have this chance again. I want to talk to you, and I'm not really a caddy.' I said 'What are you? A comedian, a terrorist?' He said, 'No, I just do this to supplement my income. I'm a New York City fireman. A captain, actually. And I'm from a working class Irish family, and I've been a Republican all my life. But I wanted you to know, that when 9/11 happened, and we were all out there, looking for people to save, and then looking for body parts, just trying to find something so that we could identify the people who died -- Mrs. Clinton was the only one who said that some of us were going to get sick. The president, he said that everything would be okay, that nothing was going to happen. But Mrs. Clinton knew what we were breathing in, what we were dealing with, and she did something about it. And because of her, some of us who would have died are alive today. And those of us who did die, their families can now live with a little more dignity. Because she did something about it, when no one else cared. And that's the kind of person who should be President.'"
Thank you, and goodnight. Mr. Clinton has left the building.
